You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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