It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
