I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
