The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
