Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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