Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In other news, I just burned my penis
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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