New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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