i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
