that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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