I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
