Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize