i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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