Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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