I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
