yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
