garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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