Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
