We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
