If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
