why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize