Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
