Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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