I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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