The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
one might say we're banned from that church
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
