With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
