I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
