You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
