Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize