we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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