Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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