I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize