So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
