Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
