but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
