My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
