is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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