My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
