so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
They are going to name an STD after you.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
