Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
