if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
