We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
