operation have a gay friend backfired
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
