what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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