I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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