You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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