I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
