Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
