I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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