my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
