You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
