she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
