went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
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Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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