What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
