No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
