the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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