I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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