U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
