Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

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  (201): i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around http://tfl.nu/2geo
  Replies (23) Good night (1566) Bad night (2870)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high

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  (785): turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high http://tfl.nu/v57y
  Replies (20) Good night (1437) Bad night (5263)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

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  (920): the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet. http://tfl.nu/lvr3
  Replies (12) Good night (5948) Bad night (984)
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  (831): View more from California

  It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics

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  (831): It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics http://tfl.nu/i199
  Replies (14) Good night (6440) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?

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  (754): He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach? (954): In the hopes he'll just put it in one day? http://tfl.nu/u4da
  Replies (100) Good night (1543) Bad night (8326)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks

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  (918): they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks http://tfl.nu/5j5t
  Replies (27) Good night (1309) Bad night (7193)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.

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  (720): After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards. http://tfl.nu/zyl3
  Replies (13) Good night (855) Bad night (2893)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...

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  (917): The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline... http://tfl.nu/p4q2
  Replies (1) Good night (2293) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Did you reintroduce yourself?

  (407): View more from Florida

  He threatened to call the cops.

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  (407): When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house. (301): Did you reintroduce yourself? (407): He threatened to call the cops. http://tfl.nu/0bcc
  Replies (8) Good night (770) Bad night (2056)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.

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  (814): I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos. http://tfl.nu/dk8h
  Replies (12) Good night (2871) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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  (310): OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS? http://tfl.nu/ewib
  Replies (14) Good night (1828) Bad night (897)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".

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  (317): No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila". http://tfl.nu/tmys
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.

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  (931): i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman. http://tfl.nu/vuix
  Replies (11) Good night (1387) Bad night (832)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor

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  (780): i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/zkix
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success

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  (413): The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success http://tfl.nu/ro65
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (885)

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