Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"

  (586): View more from Michigan

  and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.

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  (586): love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t" (586): and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps." (586): I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me. http://tfl.nu/cqw0
  Replies (7) Good night (1282) Bad night (520)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  mmm whisky

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  reminds me of losing my job

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  (402): mmm whisky (402): reminds me of losing my job http://tfl.nu/6ugp
  Replies (3) Good night (1054) Bad night (2773)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina

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  (717): ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina http://tfl.nu/5npd
  Replies (30) Good night (591) Bad night (8942)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail

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  (267): Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail http://tfl.nu/spjw
  Replies (9) Good night (5099) Bad night (1309)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

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  (501): i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is. http://tfl.nu/pdzt
  Replies (10) Good night (3418) Bad night (1360)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters

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  (517): He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters http://tfl.nu/qui3
  Replies (7) Good night (2569) Bad night (1066)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.

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  (319): Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again. http://tfl.nu/9aen
  Replies (10) Good night (3669) Bad night (1382)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2582) Bad night (620)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?

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  (404): When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012? http://tfl.nu/cat9
  Replies (12) Good night (1769) Bad night (705)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.

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  (715): On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good. http://tfl.nu/74vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1353) Bad night (487)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.

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  (202): Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact. http://tfl.nu/fdj2
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (374)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.

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  (306): the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public. http://tfl.nu/n2ze
  Replies (5) Good night (783) Bad night (303)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"

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  (717): They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail" http://tfl.nu/whag
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (394)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto

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  (419): He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto http://tfl.nu/0r80
  Replies (0) Good night (358) Bad night (374)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014

  (813): View more from Florida

  You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch

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  (727): Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014 (813): You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch http://tfl.nu/2p9q
  Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (164)

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