Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
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It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
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Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter