Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?

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  (810): Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you? http://tfl.nu/wjcf
  Replies (2) Good night (2481) Bad night (796)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls

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  (203): Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls http://tfl.nu/wu3r
  Replies (62) Good night (3375) Bad night (1030)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."

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  (337): And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active." http://tfl.nu/o68j
  Replies (77) Good night (788) Bad night (15979)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.

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  (727): It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics. http://tfl.nu/z8vb
  Replies (6) Good night (779) Bad night (4170)
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  (555): View more from

  After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.

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  (555): After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire. http://tfl.nu/pn7x
  Replies (6) Good night (4489) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.

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  (609): I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from. http://tfl.nu/yx57
  Replies (11) Good night (2689) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...

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  (217): If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out... http://tfl.nu/9czx
  Replies (1) Good night (1093) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.

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  (517): all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings. http://tfl.nu/fkoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2295) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?

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  (740): Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom? http://tfl.nu/p5et
  Replies (9) Good night (1253) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...

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  (317): His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip... http://tfl.nu/pj0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1639) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight

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  (216): Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight http://tfl.nu/4usg
  Replies (4) Good night (338) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.

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  (414): They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe. http://tfl.nu/qow6
  Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.

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  (573): It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children. http://tfl.nu/cjdr
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

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  (313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?

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  (908): My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER? http://tfl.nu/z2jy
  Replies (3) Good night (368) Bad night (211)

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