And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.