I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic