Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed

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  (601): Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed http://tfl.nu/n1gm
  Replies (83) Good night (1206) Bad night (4897)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text

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  (512): we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text http://tfl.nu/5zju
  Replies (7) Good night (3582) Bad night (720)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
  Replies (50) Good night (3796) Bad night (5607)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.

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  (520): The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out. http://tfl.nu/jqhp
  Replies (5) Good night (2488) Bad night (1154)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.

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  (775): Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now. http://tfl.nu/j6eo
  Replies (11) Good night (4125) Bad night (896)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.

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  (604): I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune. http://tfl.nu/081q
  Replies (6) Good night (1186) Bad night (632)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.

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  (303): I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick. http://tfl.nu/7vfn
  Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (1617)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina

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  (865): it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina http://tfl.nu/yy9c
  Replies (16) Good night (2387) Bad night (983)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.

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  (843): Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/zg5q
  Replies (5) Good night (1326) Bad night (538)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.

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  (416): We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there. http://tfl.nu/uram
  Replies (2) Good night (1703) Bad night (642)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER

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  (434): I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER http://tfl.nu/0nk8
  Replies (13) Good night (1791) Bad night (750)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me

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  (206): dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me http://tfl.nu/vdsq
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (553)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins

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  (412): You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins http://tfl.nu/ug6k
  Replies (2) Good night (862) Bad night (474)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'

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  (443): SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK' http://tfl.nu/77su
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (387)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT IS HAPPENING

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.

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  (724): WHAT IS HAPPENING (1-724): A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US. http://tfl.nu/lbg7
  Replies (6) Good night (832) Bad night (357)

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