you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
