So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize