He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
