Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
