it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
