Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
