Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
