your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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