so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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