How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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