I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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